October 12th.


I have always been quite a sick child for as long as I can remember. I would catch every cold, every flu and every tummy bug going. My immune system is slim to none and that carried on throughout my teenage years. For the past year and a half something just hasn’t been right, I started getting pains in my head and dizziness. I was told by my GP that I was having an allergic reaction to my pill and to come off of it immediately. Six months later.. there was no change, except the headaches were getting worse. A week before I flew to Greece this summer, I lost central vision in my left eye and I couldn’t see a thing. I went to the opticians and was sent to hospital that very next morning for further tests. That’s where I was told I had Optical Neuritis. Good news, no swelling behind my eye (from what the eye doctors could see) so I was told I could fly and enjoy my holiday. I had an MRI scan booked for when I got back, just to double check everything and rule out any other complications, I didn't think much of it. As time's gone on, my migraines have got worse, I’ve been getting sicker and I’ve had pins and needles in my hands and feet. Whenever I move my neck in a certain position, a tingly shock shoots down my back. I was on medication for my Migraines at this point too but they weren’t working, so I was weaning off of them. I put the pins and needles down to the side effects of my meds. 

Thursday the 12th of October, I went to the hospital for my results. My MRI scan lit up, showed white, inflamed lumps on my brain and I was diagnosed with Multiple Scheloris. My whole world stopped spinning for a few seconds. I cried.. and I cried and I cried, my Mum held me and cried with me. My first thought was “Am I going to die?” (because I knew nothing about it) and the second one was “How have I, at 22 been diagnosed with a disease that is incurable and that I’ll have to live with for the rest of my life?” I still haven’t come to terms with it, I still don’t know much about it but the answer is, no, I’m not going to die, MS isn’t terminal but there is no cure for it. 

At last, I have some answers. This would explain why sometimes I can’t lift my head off the pillow and get out of bed, why sometimes I’m unstable on my feet and stumble over, why sometimes I feel electric shocks through my body and pins and needles on my limbs and why sometimes I have to cancel all my plans to just stay in bed (sorry friends!!) These are all reminders that I am sick and I need to slow down and take care of myself but I’m glad I’ve finally got a diagnosis and I’m not going crazy. Right now, I’m having a relapse which is why I’ve been so, so poorly but this won't be the case all the time. I will be in and out of remission but right now, I'm relapsing and it's shittttttt.

I have always been a morning person, I am always up before 8am without fail. I even wrote a blog post on how to be a morning person but as of lately, I’ve been sleeping in until gone 10:30am and although that might not seem late to some of you, it is very, very unlike me. Even with me going to bed at 10pm the night before. Now I know it’s because of my MS and the fatigue that comes along with it. 

Also, I would like to mention that although I thought I was going to get answers regarding my migraines from the MRI, I got the complete opposite. MS isn’t causing my migraines and my migraines aren’t causing my MS. The nurse told me that I’m just extremely unlucky in the fact that I’ve now got not only one condition.. but two. I am on new medication for my headache's (which sometimes last for 4 days at a time and there's not much else I can do, other than sleep) and I will be on seperate medication for my Multiple Sclerosis. 

As of right now, I don't know what type of MS I have, I can kind of already guess but I don't know for sure. Our conversation didn't get that far because to be honest, I was a bit of a wreck and so was my mum. The nurse said its been a shock and it's going to take time to process and I completely agreed. I don't know when I'll be able to tell someone without bursting into tears, maybe i'll just direct them to this post instead, lol.

I have got the best support system around me, which are my family & friends who have been a tower of strength these last few days. Can't express or even tell you how much I love and adore them, with all my heart. The next step for me is my next hospital appointment, where I see my specialist and we go through treatments and what treatment I would like to have. Then we will go from there.

This is a disease that has no cure but it’s also an illness that doesn’t define me. I am strong & I am powerful and I’m gonna do everything to make sure I live the best life that I can. 

I may have MS but MS doesn’t have me. 

Charleigh

xo

Making Some Changes


Hey hey hey! 
I’m going to be completely honest with you, I kinda lost my blogging mojo. I fell out of love with creating content on here and I have been feeling really uninspired and lost. I found myself comparing my blog to others and how many followers/views I had. I don't know why I slipped into that mind set but I'm ready to make some changes and snap out of it. A blog is a lot more different to an Instagram account, where you can just post a picture (of whatever you like) and you'll get a bunch of likes. On here, it feels like you have to write something that people are interested in otherwise you're essentially talking to no one but yourself. So I found myself stuck in a rut because I had no idea what people would want to read, whether I'm relatable enough and if my readers will actually enjoy it. Then I remembered why I started this blog in the first place and it was because I wanted a corner of the internet where I could express myself and call home, a place where I could share my love for clothes, curly hair, music and self love and share it with whoever wants to come on this journey with me. It was never for the views and I never made it to be in competition with another. The blogging world is a community, not a battlefield and I refuse to let myself fall back into the whole 'am I even good enough for this?' mind set, because I am good enough, we all are. So, from here on out, I promise to not only me but to all of you viewers as well, that the content I put out is going to be straight from the heart, just 100% Charleigh and I really hope you stick around for it. 

I have pre-written blog posts for November & December which consist of recipes, outfit posts, ‘how to’ ideas, curly hair care and of course, Christmassy bits and bobs. I’m not sure whether I’m going to take part in ‘12 days of Blogmas’ like I did last year, not because I didn’t enjoy it but more so because I don’t know what I would actually write? I’ve ran out of ideas (so, if you have any, let me know) - but you can read last years Blogmas here. I'm excited for what the next few months, leading up to the New Year will hold. Whether my views & followers grow or not, it doesn't matter.. just as long as I'm growing into the best version of myself, that's what I really care about. I think I have my spark back and I’m ready to 'do the business' and give it my all.

Charleigh
xo


(These contain AF links)
Culottes // New Look - here & here
Top // ASOS - here
Jacket // Missguided - here & here 
Boots // Similar - here
Bag // ASOS - here







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