Friday, 8 June 2018

I AM SO MUCH MORE HAPPIER ON MY OWN

I'm an introvert.

I like to be on my own 90% of the time.

I'm not really sure when it started but I get really frustrated and anxious when I'm around people for long periods of time. I love my Mum to death, she is wholeheartedly my best friend but even she knows I can't be around her all the time. It’s nothing personal, it’s just what I like.

My bedroom/office/safe place is where I spend most of my time in my house. Although my kitchen fridge is a close runner up because.. you know, food?! But because I spend most of my time here, I try to make it as cosy as possible. There is something very relaxing about laying on my bed, with the windows open, listening to the cars driving by. I find comfort in silence and I know that's quite hard for some people but for me, I enjoy it. So sometimes I will be chilling, listening to a good spotify playlist, watching something on Netflix and other times I’ll just lie there, in silence.


I like having control over everything in my life, I like to make my own decisions and sometimes with social events, I don't always feel like I can do that. For example, I’m not a big drinker, in fact I don’t drink at all anymore (due to my illness) so I always feel like the ‘odd one out’ when I go out with my friends that do drink. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard “Are you sure you don’t want a drink? I’ll pay.” Or “Just one..” As if I’m any less of a good time without consuming alcohol (maybe I am..). No but seriously, just like in any situation, no means no! (unless your boyfriend asks you if you want anything to eat mid argument, you say no and he actually comes back with nothing). The AUDACITY.

Whenever I do go out though, as much as I like to dance and have a good time with my friends, the best part for me is coming home, taking my makeup off and getting into fresh pyjamas. Then I look forward to spending a day by myself, not socialising at all and speaking to no one, other than my Dog. I feel like it’s my own way of rejuvenating and recharging. Those that suffer with hangovers need a Bacon Sarnie and a Lucozade the next day,  I just need a hot shower and alone time (lol) and that’s okay. 


*Dress - Monki (old)
*Bag - ASOS (sold out) 
*Earrings - ASOS (similar)

I can also go a few days without talking to my friends. Again, it’s nothing personal, I just sometimes have nothing to say. I’d like to think that my closest friends, my best friends know what type of person I am and that they understand it’s nothing personal to them. It’s not me being shady, it’s not me being selfish, it’s not me caring for you any less. It’s just sometimes, I want to be left alone. 

I know that a lot of people have busy lives but in their spare time, on their days off, they would prefer to make plans with friends/family, go out and not spend it sitting indoors. I think that is totally fine and from an outsiders point of view, that’s probably seen as the ‘normal’ thing to do but I’m honestly the complete opposite. If I’ve had a really busy week and I’m knackered, all I want to do on my time off is stay inside, chill out and be on my own. I don’t ever get bored and I really enjoy my own company (I know.. 23 years going on 83 right?). When I’m on my own, the only person I have to worry about is myself, catching up on reality tv shows, painting my nails, listening to music etc and I think that’s a form of self-care. Something that we should all practice more. 

There seems to be a negative stigma around Introverts and those who choose to be by themselves. I have an amazing, supportive, loving family and the most incredible support system that I call friends. I might prefer to be on my own but I am never lonely. 

Trust me, we’re good over here.





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