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A Hair, Fashion & Lifestyle Blog - By Charleigh Victory

Sunday, 3 June 2018


And by that, I mean, I have no idea what the hell I am doing.

I started to panic about what direction my life was going, especially being out of work for almost 7 weeks due to my illness. I feel like my life has been put on hold for a while and I'm feeling very 'meh' and don't know what to do with myself.

I know that blogging and my online career is something that I want to take more seriously (and I hope it becomes my full time job) but its finding out how to get there and if I'll be successful enough. I love writing, I love taking pictures, I love working with brands that I enjoy but what do I do on the days when I have nothing to write about? or the natural lighting is nowhere to be seen for good quality photos, or no ones around to take that outfit shot for me. What do I do? What do I do when no brands have approached me or got back to my email about that job opportunity or the days where I am too sick to travel to that event. If I don't work then I'm not earning money and if I'm not earning money, I can't pay my bills. 

I'm 23 (just..) and I'm still not where I want to be in life. I know to some people, 23 is really, really young but I feel like I should be 'proper' adulting by now (whatever 'proper' means) but I still feel 18 in my head. I know the importance of money, I pay my rent, I bought and paid for my own car and I'm very independent in that sense but I just wish I was doing a bit more, you know? Like I see some people my age (sometimes even younger) that are home owners and my first thought is "HOW?" and "TEACH ME YOUR WAYS" but I have to remind myself that everyone's journey is different and to not bloody compare.

I'm going to get a planner and write down my goals for the rest of the year. I seriously can't believe its now June and I feel like I've accomplished nothing. I know its not entirely my fault and that I've more or less spent this year in the hospital or at doctor appointments but I've had enough. I want to try and be more business minded and really push myself to be the independent-boss-gal I would like to be. So that I can actually work from home, even on the days where I'm bed bound and can still earn money.

(affiliate links)
Jumpsuit - ASOS 

I guess I've already made a little step into working for myself by not working for free anymore. This year I made a promise to myself that I would no longer work for free, no matter how small the job is because I know brands do have a budget and I think they should stop undermining bloggers and how much effort we put into our content. If someone is wanting your time, your work, your efforts, then I think it's only right that they pay you for it. Because lets face it, exposure isn't going to pay your bills is it? And you would never go to a hairdressers and walk out without paying, would you? So yeah, I've set some boundaries. 

I try to be as relatable as I can and as honest as I can. I sometimes don't feel like a true influencer because I don't have my own house with marble flooring, I can't pay a photographer to take my photos for me and that I'm not always creative, every single day. It was only two days ago that I was having a really bad day, spent hours crying because I just didn't feel worthy or valued enough. But hey, guess what? No ones life is sunshine and roses, sometime's it's really f**king hard but we make it work, as best we can. So, if you're a bit like me and feel stuck at the moment then that's okay, do not worry. Life has a way of turning things around and I always try to remember how much I hated the world when I was a teenager (from 2009-2012) and how much I see it in a different light now, it's really not so bad. 

You'll get there, I swear.

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